FEAR

What am I most afraid of? What makes me feel helpless when I am its captive audience? What fills me with the most anxiety, distress, inner turmoil, and horrifying fear? What am I most afraid of? Immediately, when these questions are set before my mind, I sit face to face with one word- selfishness. Selfishness terrifies my very being. It is the attribute that I am most obligated to practice as a result of my nature. But it is also the attribute that I must mortify to gain any measurable ground in love. Regretfully, I participate in this evil far more than my conscience can let go through its filter. Many times, I choose selfishness almost as if I deserve something! What a lie! Selfishness makes itself look like a reward, but it only produces fruit that will wither away. It is a lie that haunts my past, fights for a place in my present, and threatens every aspect of my future. Sometimes I have dreams about my future as a selfish individual who cares only for himself. Needless to say, I hate those dreams. I don’t want severed relationships, hurt friends and family, or a lack of self-sacrifice and a lack of yielding to Christ. Selfishness is lurking around every corner in every circumstance. I must defeat this tenacious foe one battle at a time. But I am still afraid.